Good morning, dear ones.
This, for certain, is a message I have both never wanted to write, and a message that must be written.
Where is god not? Where is goddess NOT? These are questions I have been asking as I have been navigating a difficult and groundless journey….
For more than three decades, I have dedicated myself to healthy eating, yoga, meditation, living in alignment with nature…. self-care and sharing all of this with others.
Alas…. the lessons have gone deeper and gotten more real for me in recent months.
Just over two months ago, I was given “my turn” by this unpredictable world. I found a lump in my breast and began the slow and certain road of diagnosis of breast cancer.
I take a deep breath and say again….
This is a message I both never wanted to share with you, and a message that must be shared.
A week from today, I will enter a 6 week inpatient cancer treatment program: a revolutionary, as far as I can see, approach to both eradicating the cancer with its gnarly risk of recurrence, and a full support of my immune system, my mind, my emotions, and my spirit. I will receive treatments 6 days a week; beginning at 9 am and ending at 6 pm… including chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapies, nutritional therapies, movement, bioenergetics, and detoxification.
I am fully surrendered, finally, to what is to come and whatever will be.
I have been surrounded by, and continue to be surrounded by, love through this journey, and I will not be alone during this, as my best friend and my sister will be companioning me during my treatment.
I share this with you to ask for your prayers, and your support.
Living and receiving treatment in Mexico has been a journey of many colors, twist, and turns…. All without insurance. It’s just how Mexico is…. one never knows, and instead of living a life of “security” in the USA, I chose to live abroad, and therefore accept the challenges that come with it.
That being said…. the cost of this inpatient program will be just around $80,000 USD cash, and then there will be additional medications, ongoing tests, and treatments that will take me through the coming years, totaling an estimated additional 50,000 USD.
As much as I hate to put out my alms bowl, it is my time. Perhaps asking for help in time of need is part of my learning, as I have not done this before in my life, and admittedly, am neither comfortable asking, nor accustomed to doing so. But, dear ones, I am on my knees, asking for your support. The journey of love I am committed to walking…. Is full of so many gifts, and I want to continue this walk with you for years and years to come, God willing… and right now, I have a full and real plate full of medical expenses, ongoing recovery from my partial mastectomy that was completed last month, months of not working and “whole renovation” ahead of me. Sisters who have walked before me on this path have assured me I will never be the same…. And as I look back on my life, I am ready to learn from this little “teacher” just what I need to shine more brightly on the other side….
All of the teachings come flooding forth this morning, as I sit in the sun-kissed living room of La Sagrada…. My life is my alter…. As you worship, so you become…. (And this next one makes me weep), I am loved so completely that I am protected from nothing and sustained in everything…
So here we are, dear Ones…. Worshiping our way H{om)E.
The GOOD news in this is that I am assured that I DO have years ahead of me…. that all treatments being done are to prevent recurrence of a type of cancer that apparently has “sharp teeth”... And so, I go deep and fully into this journey…. and the planning has both begun and the way has been laid.
I am so grateful to walk with each of you on this windy and bumpy road of life. I am so FULL of hope and love and trust in what is to come, and I TRUST that this, somehow, needed to be part of my voyage, written as part of my path so that I may share of my heart and soul in deeper and more meaningful ways with each of you.
I’ve just got this little mountain to climb in the coming months…. And I am asking for your support.
My sweet side-kick, and tech guru, Courtney, has set up a page on my website where donations can be made. My treatment will begin one week from today, and I must pay for 5 weeks of treatment up front.
We just keep walking, don’t we? We let life have its way with us, and we do our best with what we are given… and remember that life and love, generosity and tender-heartedness are our guides through it all, if we so choose.
In love and service…. And to the light that awaits on the other side.
Let’s shine on, shall we?
