I often find myself looking out at my students and seeing a stammeringly familiar reflection of my old life....
I find myself watching you holding it together, "just doing" things.... not from pure-hearted desire, but because you think you "should" or a fear that if you don't do whatever is on your plate... that you are selfish.
You have a burning desire to slow down but there is a fear, somewhere--just under the surface--that has bamboozled you into thinking that if you slow down, everything will fall apart.
You don't want to get old. You don't want to get wrinkly, gray, soft and all dried up.
As a result, your energies go sideways -- you slip into silent addictions and shame of aging. You stop telling the truth and hide behind that dull and acrid word, "fine". "How ARE you?", someone asks. "I'm fine" you say, with a smile, a thousand miles from your heart.
All these things? The fear, the gripping, the groping, the shame, the addiction.... these are all the reasons I do what I do today. These are the reasons I know getting to the mat and recognizing the power of every single moment... every single breath matters. This is how I know, and see with my students that there IS a better way. It's YOUR way... and it is listening from within, recognizing your journey as worthy and following what you heart is called to do in THIS precious moment... Now, now. NOW.... Listen to THIS moment... and respond with compassion, kindness and a deep, albeit buried, knowing that you are ENOUGH, simply because you are HERE. Take your time. Slow down. Things won't fall apart. Instead, they will shuffle, yes.... and then from that, you will see who you really are... and you will see that when you relax, everything is good.
For some, this may seem depressing. But the Truth is that it is INVIGORATION and REFRESHING to know you are alive, worthy, and absolutely full & complete as you are.
That's all for now. And that is enough.