My Unbecoming.

I hung up the phone after my hour long conversation with a soul sister of many years, Laure Redmond, and literally sat, stunned and grateful.   Tears streamed down my cheek as I nodded in compassion for how little we know about the trajectory of our lives, and how grateful I am for my own. 

A year ago, none of this had yet been revealed to me, although looking back, I imagine the seeds were likely planted months or years before I ever packed a back and headed alone to a foreign country for my "unbecoming".  


Dear ones, we all come alone and we go alone... and there is a magic about entering into the wisdom of your own soul and reMEMBERing who you are "beneath masks, and hats and history".   ReMEMBERing that you are whole, holy, enough as is.  

Let's face it, buying stuff and doing stuff is fun and all, but these things don't and can't complete us.  

There is only one "thing" that can bring you true and lasting happiness:  YOU.  


HERE is our very intimate and real conversation about overcoming the addiction to "comfort", feeing the fear and doing it anyway, and seeing yourself as you are - essential and enough.  

Grab a cup of tea, snuggle in, and take a listen to our very intimate and real conversation.  

Drink The Wind.

I encourage you to first read UNBECOMING before proceeding...  --- as these are chronological recollections of my time spent in the mountains of Michoacan, Mexico alone in the forest, with a sheep skin, a feather and my prayers.... 



Drink The Wind.

I had been on the mountain for approximately 79 hours when I realized that I was beginning to lose track of time and the boundaries of my own skin. I had been recycling the advice given to me by those who had journeyed before me, "Don't think about how much time you have left."  "Remember your practices and call on them when you get 'lost'."  And, "be sure to build a shade structure -- the sun can be brutal."   

I was told to use my sarong and the twine that held my sheep skin as materials for hanging a protective barrier between me and the mid-day Mexico sun.   Given I had come up the mountain immediately following a sweat lodge, and had not taken food or liquids for three days, others before me had learned the hard way that shade was imperative.   

I had identified a pole that encompassed my site and the one tree with which I shared my space.  I sat against the tree and looked up at the sun.  I probably had four more hours of direct light before it would set on the horizon.  Although I had no timepiece, I could tell by the position of the sun in the sky that it was just after noon.  And, I had begun to sweat.  

In my three days of contemplation, I had concluded that sweating, crying, spitting, and even peeing were not in my best interests.  The wets of my eyes no longer felt moist, and my mouth was parched, my lips cracked. 

I leaned over and grabbed the corner of my folded sarong and pulled it toward me, expending as little energy as possible.  The three yards of twine were neatly rolled and leaning against the tree behind me.  I realized that the first thing I needed to do was stand up.  This sounded simple enough, but I had been seated for most of the three days -- in prayer and reflection of my life, and standing felt foreign and unkind.  Although I had done nothing strenuous for days, I was exhausted.  I leaned on the tree I had been resting against all morning and slowly gathered myself to vertical, and began to walk the five feet to the corner of my space.  I took two steps, slow and deliberate, and dropped to a knee.  My mind went blank and I stared at the ground.  For a moment, I remember feeling like I was no longer in my skin.  I stood again, as I felt the perspiration dripping from between my breasts to my navel, and attempted, determinedly, to walk toward the corner post to attach the twine.  Again, I lowered to my knee.  This time, my hands also went to the earth and I desperately gripped the needles and leaves and dry ground in clenched fists as I gasped air into my lungs.  I was in a emotional storm of fear and helplessness.  My mouth fell open and I began to drool -- where it came from, I did not know, but I watched myself layer foolishness upon misery as my life dripped to the ground to pool.  Shamelessly, I lowered my other knee out of necessity and continued my descent to the earth, curling into fetal position.  There, I began to sob. 

I could not do it.  I did not have the strength to build my shade structure.

I was at the mercy of the sun and the sky and and the wind and the rains I had been begging for but had forsaken me.  

I knew  that all that was left in me was prayer.  I let the tears flow, remembering that I had been told that no one ever died on this mountain as they prayed, and so I let be what was, and I cried my weakened self to sleep.  

I awoke with tears and dirt caked on my cheek and the sun still high in the sky.  My body was drenched in sweat.  I crawled on hands and knees to the backside of the tree where there was a sliver of shade and leaned against the bark.  I was out of the sun and I realized two things.  This would be enough shade for me, and my mouth was very dry and tasted of metal.  I slowed my breath and looked up at the sky and noticed that even in lifting my chin that the air smelled different.  I was against the east side of the tree and turned my head to the north, again realizing that my senses seemed heightened.  I could smell the pine needles, and the dry leaves of the native deciduous trees nearby.  The scents were distinct from one another.  I turned my head to the south, where the clouds hung low off in the distance -- I smelled the rain... I turned my head back to the North -- no rain... The air to the north was dry and made mel thirsty.  For a moment, I thought I even smelled a snake.   I turned back, again to the south, this time not only smelling the moisture in the air, but tasting it.  I took long deep breaths and realized that my thirst was literally being quenched by the taste of the wind.  I tested my theory again and again -- head to the north:  thirst increasing.  head to the south:  thirst quenched.  I literally was able to drink the wind.   

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Now, I know.  If you have never done this sort of thing, you are thinking, 'That is impossible'.  I would have said the same thing had I not experienced it myself.  I found myself turning to the south and drinking the wind for hours, feeling my strength slowly increasing and my gratitude for life and quite simply, for absolutely nothing, overwhelming me. 

That was it.  I can tell you that now, because I have felt it again and again since my time on the mountain nearly six months ago.  Whereas in the past, I would reach for something -- anything -- to soothe me when desperation, lack of control, or fear would creep in, now I realize that what I want most in the times when I am uncertain or lost, groping or growing is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  

It is the deep and profound realization that the greatest gift I have ever given myself is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. For in it, is the hidden miracle of  EVERYTHING. 

You may think I am whacked.  That wouldn't surprise me and if I was you, I just might feel exactly the same way.  But the truth is that I have found a peace of me -- a piece in me -- that serves as my greatest ally in moments of utter unknowing.  And in these moments... I am safe, I have everything I have ever needed or ever could possibly need, and I am free.  

And that is enough.  

Om. B

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Intrigued?   These times are challenging... much energy is unconsciously being devoted to fear of the future, the unknown, frustration and alienation from the whole.  Redirecting your energy can be the best way to quiet anxiety, turn our hearts to consciousness, and realign ourselves with harmony, or what the great yogis called Sattva.  I am leading an online PILGRIMAGE:  108 Day Virtual Journey beginning Monday, September 11th, which will inevitably direct our hearts to gratitude, an openness to greater possibilities, and right action.  The world needs us to be devoting our hearts, minds, and life force in the direction of Love.    Come if you are called.  We are waiting for you to show up as strong and true and powerful as YOU can be....


The upcoming eclipse is getting a lot of press, and I can't help but notice that most people are welcoming it as an "event" or a "spectacle".   As a yogini, I have found myself disinterested in taking the trek across the state to watch the eclipse -- not because it won't be amazing, but because neighboring cities are already running low on gas, there are as many as one million extra people entering the state to witness this once in a century event, and I heard (although I can't confirm) that the Governor declared the solar eclipse a state of emergency.

So, I'm staying home.   And the more I delve into how yoga perceives this magnificent event, the more I realize that home is exactly where I want to be.  

Here are few comments on the eclipse, through the lens of yoga...


We are the MICROCOSM to the MACROCOSM:  With the eclipse, the planet on/in which we live is literally going to have a shift in its electromagnetic field -- you could say that the "nervous system" of the planet is going to be shifting -- transitioning momentarily (in the grand scheme of things) into its receptive, dark, parasympathetic, rest/recovery nervous system.  For me, this means I do not want to be traveling a long way, in a car, with a guhzillion others in their cars.... arriving in a new place/space with a guhzillion people all excited and amped up.  I want a quiet place and space where I can quietly, receptively, marinate in the EMF of the planet -- because I am a microcosm of this great, big world, and I would very much like to recalibrate my own nervous system.

NATURE is YOUR Nature:  This means -- the best way you can receive the most from this extraordinary cosmically charged event is to "act like nature" -- no mood altering substances, no synthetic clothing, no busy brain or full tummy or over-excitiation, and take off your shoes....  Be like the grass, sit on the grass, lie on the grass, be the grass.  And receive.

ALIGN with the DIVINE:  In these next days and hours leading up to the full solar eclipse -- take time to set an intention for yourself that is somehow connected to the greater good -- whatever it is, see for yourself, in your imagination, that you are  intending something for yourself that is ultimately in service to others and the world.  It starts with you, so it doesn't have to be huge, but let it be about "we" not only about "me".  

RECALIBRATE: When the sun returns to its full light in the sky -- a complete and exemplary "recalibration" of the planet will have taken place -- this means you have just crossed a marvelous moment where you are fresh and beginning anew.  

So there you have it -- whether you were going to join the mass transit of humans heading toward the dark side of the sky, or you were planning to stay home and tend to your own little world, these are a few ways that yogis do the solar eclipse.....  And wherever you are, I hope you take the time to appreciate this phenomenally powerful event, for you are most definitely part of nature, and when you see this and "be" this -- life has a way of living through you in mysterious and majestic ways.



WANT MORE?  If you want to learn more about how you can "align with nature", Britt offers a 108 day virtual journey of simple, accessible practices that will amaze you and recalibrate your whole being.  LEARN MORE and fill your life with deliciousness and watch the muck and murky fall away.  



I kissed the ground and entered the sweat lodge.  These daily rituals had been preparing me for what was to come.  We crawled in, on hands and knees, taking our places in concentric circles surrounding the sunken center that would soon hold the volcanic “grandmother stones” used to raise the temperature of the sweat lodge to just below unbearable.  


I won't lie to you.

It's been a big, hard week.  

I have found myself being asked repeatedly to integrate, rise up, and to shine extra brightly for others who feel as though a cloud of darkness has paralyzed them or rendered them lost.  Now...  I know that not all of my students and followers feel this way, and I know, at the core, that yoga is not political (and frankly, neither am I).  I know that my role is to look at the places and spaces where we can see one another as equals -- soul siblings --  and where we can seek to understand one another first and foremost -- and it is my deep and unequivocal knowing that this is the place and space from which we grow and heal. 

I know I am not alone when I say that I teach what I want to embody.  Pilgrim is a blessing for me in this way.  So, too, is my Yoga Teacher Training.  

These are places where I am provide golden opportunities to share the honey I have been given.  The "honey" of perspective, trust, and truth -- no matter how hard it is. 

You see, I tend toward "tough love".  
I tend toward calling it out.  For myself and others.
Like it is.  I tend toward asking the hard questions, and holding space for healing in the nourishment of the responses.  
And yes, I do tend to touch my finger to the wounds, gently, and say, "does it hurt... here ?"  
Because I know it hurts.  We all hurt sometimes...  and, I have found that when we acknowledge we are wounded, and that we are strong enough to claim our pain and our potential, we then can SEE we are FREE.

You know what else I have found?





So, let's do our part, shall we?

1.  Wake everyday and pray (set intention, send good juju -- call it what you want).
2.  Practice.  Go to the mat.  Look for Yoga everywhere, and in doing so, you will see it everywhere.
3.  Commit to Love:   In  thoughts.  Words.  Actions.  (for EVERYONE -- not just those who love you back, get you, or think like you do). 
4.  And then:








Whenever light and darkness

both enter a space,
light always -- 
and in all ways

(eventually) wins.

Want more light?  

Here are a few more ways you can crank up the light in your life:

1.  Read autobiographies and biographies of Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Victor Frankl, and Einstein.  Their lives were way hard:  and they shined BUHHHHHH-RIGHTLY in their lives (so brightly we are still feeling it).
2.  Watch great movies:  The Man Who Knew Infinity.  Baggar Vance. Like Stars on Earth.  Dr. Strange. Look for Yoga everywhere in all things, people, world events, and experiences.
3.  Pray. Every. Day.  I don't care who you believe in.  Or IF you believe in anyone or anything.  You don't have to do it this way:  Lay it all down -- "ALTAR" your perspective, your position, and change out the lens through which you see the world (you just may be wearing the WRONG prescription).
4.  Step in and Step UP.

HOW?   Immerse yourself:  

Join Conscious Community
Invest in a Training
Go on a Retreat 
Come to Classes
Email me and ask me for something brilliant

And then go out there and fight a good fight -- with love and compassion as your backbone.


If you want your world

to be different,

it starts on the inside

I'm just saying.  If you want to change something:  change yourself first.  And if you don't know how, it's actually quite simple:  marinade in those that have what you want and  and live as you'd love to live:  and you, too, will change.    Like it or not:  you're a lot like tofu.



 ~ Good morning Beautiful ~

My favorite part of the photo shoot from August... seeds planted... beautiful things growing... and thought I'd give you a sneak peak -- new website and subsequent offerings coming by year's end.

My favorite part of the photo shoot from August... seeds planted... beautiful things growing... and thought I'd give you a sneak peak -- new website and subsequent offerings coming by year's end.

Some mornings I spend a couple of hours with recordings from my teacher -- laced with sanskrit, puja (purification ceremony), and the wisdom of India.  But this morning was different -- and it's important that I let it be.....

It's been quiet at my house.  Not because there isn't a lot to be done and that awaits my attention, but because the season is begging me to quiet the space between my ears and in my body.  My yoga practice has been gentle.  I've taken a lot of baths (and even got myself some lavender bubble bath because my Epsom salts, although wonderful, are a little too "adult" for me these days).

I pretty much always rise well before the sun.  It's the way I deepen into my heart and set an energetic foundation for my day.  It's also important to me because when my husband rouses he usually has a million things to share that have happened in the night and I want to be ready for him.  Early quiet time helps me empty my own vessel for the day so I can receive whatever longs to move through me.  

This morning, I found myself using my early morning time to listen to a beautiful hour long talk on self-care by a friend I met some years ago while we were both taking some time away from the US and living in Bali.  During her talk, she introduced me to this amazing song -- and because it seems so true and fitting for these days of my life, I thought I'd share.... 

Enjoy Beautiful... and remember, if you get goosebumps... it's probably the real deal.  

Sweet Day to you ~
Love. B