Yesterday, like most these days, was a hybrid of city and country. I woke up and was in the car and driving by 6:25am, heading from the rawkin' metropolis of Vernonia to the even more rawkin' metropolis of Mist, Oregon. In my 30+ minute commute I counted 2 cars. I spent the beginning of my day milking goats, processing goat milk, and sitting on the hay pile with my new baby goats, 3 1/2 weeks old, in my arms, listening to the only audible sound: 17 goats chewing their breakfast.
Then I came back to our little apartment at Cedar Ridge we call home, talked to a client, a physician (about the client), and headed to the YogaFarm. Did some sweeping, garden watering, hung some flags, discussed the temporary hot water set up, and admired the porch building process. Our stainless kitchen counters and sink arrived and I then hustled home to clean myself up and hit the road again to make it to Portland in time to get a pedicure and teach my yoga class at YogaPearl. I had to buy milk (8 gallons) and sausage (enough for 300 peeps--and I don't even eat sausage) for our business at Cedar Ridge. Then a pit stop at Home Depot to pick up a faucet and some plumbing parts on my way home.
It was just before 9 pm when I pulled in the drive at our little apartment. What a day. I love these days.
The time has come. The time has come to be very conscious about the integration of my own parts: the recognition of my country roots, the path I have walked... all of it... sometimes pretty, sometimes raw and writhing. When I was little, I got a pony and a puppy. I grew up in rural Minnesota, got into some trouble, went to jail. Went away to college. Got my degree. Got a job. Got fired. Got married. Got my masters degree. Wrote a book. Got divorced. Bumbled through life at times. Flowed gracefully at other times. Got lucky--found the One that loves me unconditionally and to whom I devote my life. Found inspiration. Found Yoga. Found myself.
There is a symbol in yoga: it is the symbol of the snake with its tail in its mouth -- the time has come to recognize this in ourselves... You return to where you came from... you cannot run from yourself, and if you chase your dreams, eventually you know that anything worth anything comes from within.. and eventually, we all realize that nothing that will survive lives outside of ourselves, so we come circling back, circling back, circling back. Eventually, with conscious consideration, we eventually find ourselves back home, fully recognizing our wholeness. There is a peace that comes when we say to ourselves: "this is MY life. This has been MY path. This is has been my PILGRIMAGE.... and everything I dream to become is acquired by going in, returning to source, coming home, taking my life, my history, my "tail" back into my whole self.
The symbol reminds us of guru haridya manas -- or the one who releases us from darkness, who sits in the heart center of oneself, and is oneself. More simply put, it is the inner teacher that lives in your heart, in and through and is the BEST guru, the BEST teacher you could ever imagine having. This BEST teacher is YOU.
The time has come to know this, in and through.... Everything about you is whole and complete. Everything about you is acceptable, worthy, and sacred. Everything.
Have a blessed day, Guru.