... Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times.
Come. Yet again... come.... Come.
Not long ago, a dear friend found herself down our gravel road... It's unusual to find yourself in "the neighborhood" soshe and her niece stopped by to visit the goats. We sat on the porch as the sun went behind the trees, and this poem came up.
I'll own it. I've broken my vows a thousand times. And then I lost count.
I've gotten lost in the weeds, thought the path on which I was traveling was "THE One".... only to wake up one fine day, heart-broken and uncertain of everything but my own skin.
Despite what we hear from the outside, your "living" is not intended to be straight and narrow. It's not supposed to be about "reaching goals". It's not about "getting it right" or "becoming anything."
Becoming, my dear friends... is a disease.
If you are always on the road to becoming something. You are never "there".
This is hooey. You are already there.
Here's what I have learned ~ and the words don't do it justice.... because what I am about to say is translated into English from the language of the heart... and much is lost in translation, but just the same...
Beneath masks, and hats and history,
You are already whole.
Enough as is.
What I want for you is for YOU to wake up every single morning knowing THIS. What I long for you to realize is that the path need not be hard nor arduous. It is simple. Clear. I know this and those who have walked with me before know this. It is about small steps, in community, in consciousness, in Love.
This living is not about perfection.
It is about mindfully inhabiting your days.
That is all.
Let me tell you about a sweet woman I have learned about and loved.... Her name is Kiki. She works for a huge, well-respected company in the pacific northwest and is on the VP track. She is gorgeous, inside and out (as are you, my dear) . She's a mom, and a wife, and a longing lover (just.like.you).
She told me this last winter...
"I remember when I first met you... tears welled in my eyes, as I felt the pressures to DO it all....
and then I felt your permission to be a human BEING, not a human doing...to just be,
that I was enough as is. THAT BLEW MY MIND. Changed me. EVERYTHING has changed.
My family, coworkers, everyone has noticed a change in me. But most importantly, I have noticed a change in ME. Awareness of my heart softening. Awareness of the beauty on my drive & walk into work. Awareness of what's going on in between my ears. And awareness of when something is not quite right and I need to slow down. Take care of myself. It's not a should anymore, it's a priority. A must...."
I tell you this -- I share her experience -- because YOU can have this too. You are just like her like me -- we are the same. This life is a wild, wooly, sometimes wicked ride... and there is a way to do it kicking and screaming, beaten and bleeding... or there is a way to do it in Love.
Someone asked me not long ago, "Why are you here?" -- It was a question about my purpose. (We all have one.) I am pretty clear on this these days.
I am here to teach.
I am here to help people.
I am here to help people BE HAPPY.
(the sticky little sweet part is that HAPPY is not an "experience" that comes and goes... I'm talking about the kind of happiness that softly, quietly rises up and bubbles forth when you are still... I'm talking about the kind of happy that oozes out of your being when the world is whizzing by and you slow down just long enough to feel the space and the very..... bottom.... of your exhale....)
Love you. Have the most wonderful day. BE Happy (it's who you are intended to be).
Email me if you have any questions.